Wear it With Pride!

When I'm not feeling fuzzy, I make merit badges.  Ok, so they're really just buttons, but made in the majestic spirit of those merit badges earned in boy scouts; proudly displayed on a sash of achievement to tell the world you've mastered making the perfect s'more or the art of playing dead in front of a charging pedo bear!

My badges are for adult life, relationships in specific, and are thus entitled "Boyfriend Badges: Proof You Don't Suck!"  Wanna hear my slick sales pitch?  Yeah, you do.
"Boyfriend Badges aren't just for boyfriends.  They're also for girlfriends, husbands, wives, friends and fuckbuddies...pretty much whoever shares your special moments and compromising situations.  reward your significant someone with a badge of honor each time you reach a relationship milestone, or use them as incentives if your sweetie is an achievement whore who MUST COLLECT THEM ALL!"

So, what are these achievements I speak of?  Let's have a look at Series 1:

Drunk MakeOuts, You've Accepted My Fetish, Breaking the Fart barrier, My Pet Likes You, Meet the Parents, Moral Support While Puking.

If you've conquered these six situations and can still look the person in the eye, they're a keeper!

Now, on to the ladies.  Girlfriend Badges are actually a little more difficult to attain, and one in particular requires some ballsiness to brandish in public (obviously, that one is my favorite):

Bro Approved, Menstrual Management,  It's OK Baby (erectile dysfunction amnesty badge), Boobs!, Fast food Friendly, and Video Game Tolerance.

An old man once saw my Menstrual management badge and said "Oh!  I like your little surfer guy there!"  Yes.  Surfing.  Thanks, dude.

I'll soon be busy punching a bunch of new badges in preparation for Comikaze in Sept., so grab some now before things get nuts! Boyfriend Badges shop

Now for the audience participation portion of the show!  I've been approached by a few friends about making a series of Break Up Badges.  While I am intrigued and certainly agree that some break up incidents are worth commemorating --whether to remember a hard lesson learned or to laugh at the ridiculousness-- I have to wonder whether they'd sell.  Getting dumped via email or text is a common indecency, but is it badge worthy?  If I shoot for the more absurd end of the spectrum and go with achievements like "Hit Ex With My Car" (It never happened!  I don't care who told you!  He's a liar.), they become less universal and possibly punishable by law.

So, I come to you, my readers.  All 7 of you!  Break up Badges:  Good idea, bad idea?  Any thoughts on what they should be?  Break up anecdotes you'd care to share that walk the line between hilarious and cringeworthy?  Holla back here, through FB, or the etsy shop!