Valentine's Day: Boyfriend Badges

Don't hold your feelings in.

While I have created many things and been satisfied with 99% of them (the Mod Podge on my side table is STILL sticky 10 years later), this week marks the anniversary of one of the art endeavors I am most proud of.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/boyfriendbadges

Two years ago I was discussing relationships with my (then new) boyfriend, Mark.  More specifically, we were discussing other peoples' shitty relationships, and how glad I was that I never had to bribe or trick him into doing nice things.  The conversation turned to awards for good behavior; something good boyfriends could earn and collect. An avid gamer, Mark likened the concept to achievements in video games.  A lifelong collector of all things colorful, coveted, and tiny, I craved something tangible like a merit badge from Boy Scouts.  A few sketches and glasses of wine later, Boyfriend Badges were born.  Thanks to a great little blurb on Geekologie in 2012, they have since brought delight to sick and twisted couples all across the globe.

Shown from left: Drunk Makeouts, You've Accepted My Fetish, Breaking the Fart Barrier, My Pet Likes You, Met the Parents, and Moral Support While Puking.

Having never been a traditional girl in any sense of the word, I wanted the milestones reflected by my badges to be unexpected; smart, funny, and potentially embarrassing for one or more parties.  There are a few "normal" ones like Met the Parents and "Key Swap" to commemorate the exchange of house/ apt. keys.

No, no.  Not like the key swap your parents did in the 70's.  I'm being literal and wholesome for a change.

The best selling badges by far are actually the "gross" ones: Breaking the Fart Barrier, Moral Support While Puking, and Menstrual Management, which comes from the companion Girlfriend Badges set.

Surf's Up.

Shown from left: Bro Approved, Menstrual Management, Erectile Dysfunction Amnesty, Boobs!, Fast Food Friendly, and Video Game Tolerance.

Honestly, the one that makes me laugh the most might be Open Door Policy (peeing with the door open).  I think it's the casualness of the exchange that gets me.

It's been very rewarding to have strangers tell you that your designs made them laugh out loud, and to have played a small role in the bond between two people in love.  Especially if that bond allows for  copious body hair and the occasional fist fight.

That said, a little man-scaling is never a bad thing.

Neither is asking for directions.

This year, I'm pleased to announce an important (and much overdue) addition to the Boyfriend Badges line. I had been reflecting on my circle of friends, and it dawned on me just how many of them are gay, lesbian, and even transgendered. I would be the first to stand up and say they should receive equal treatment in all matters, then realized I had failed to provide that very thing within my badge designs.  It was then that I decided to offer Boy+Boy and Girl+Girl versions of my series 1 badge set, which I had been providing as custom orders in the past, as regular features in the shop. I wanted ALL my friends to be able to enjoy my buttons and feel that the art speaks to their relationships. Love is love, and anybody who can fart in front of their partner deserves a damn button!

Boy+Boy versions of series 1

The tiny flying briefs make this pretty much my favorite button ever.

You can find the complete line of Boyfriend Badges here in my store: https://www.etsy.com/shop/boyfriendbadges

The missing J

When I was in sixth grade, I decided to start using my middle initial in all my signatures.
 It just felt right.  Whether I realized it or not, this may have been my first concrete effort to be different from other kids. That "J." would continue to set me apart from other women with the same name for the next 18 years; attaching itself to all my professional and artistic credits, and declaring to the world that I am not Ashley the soccer player, the doctor, or the porn star.  Yes.  There's a porn star.  Google it and see for yourself why I don't want our resumes to be confused.  I'll give you a hint: "Bum Plumber".

Then, this year, my cyber stalker happened.  For the purposes of this blog, it isn't really important who this person is or why he's chosen to bother me.  All you really need to know is that the attention is both completely unwarranted and VERY unwanted.  If you've never had it happen to you, you might assume that harassing emails and fake Facebook profiles are a mere annoyance.  To call it annoying is a gross understatement.  Frustrating, depressing, tiresome, nerve wracking, and scary are just a few of the terms I would use, if I'm keeping the language clean.

 Having someone out there spending every spare moment trying to gather information on you, fabricating stories to embarass you professionally, impersonating you on social media networks, and sending you unwelcome correspondence with the intent to make you fearful is exhausting, to say the least. Some of these actions are not only frightening, they're against the law.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5s9lMzMhAU

Yep.  The law.  Wouldn't it be great if we could count on the law to set things right?  As a matter of covering the bases, I filed a police report and gave them copies of everything that has been happening.  I will be delighted if the LAPD proves my assumptions about cops to be incorrect, but I'm not counting on it.  They've got lots of shit to do.

 I did a lot of research about how to protect one's self from cyber stalking.  Since most stalkers are not thinking logically or reasonably, there's often not much you can do to change their minds and get the harassment to stop.  Essentially, you have to put up defense barriers so that they can't reach you, and thus, can't stress you out so much.  It's also wise to prevent them from knowing where you work, which was a big concern for me. The aim is to become hard to track down or contact; invisible to this person's obsessive web searches.  Not an easy thing to achieve in an age when every bit of information gets google archived somewhere.

The number one recommendation to protect yourself is to change your email address.  That really sucked.  Not only was it time consuming to switch all my accounts and whatnot, it also meant I had to kill off the personal art site that had hosted my email. Now all of my business cards provide an address that leads to nowhere.  I am a page not found.

The second highest recommendation is to drop any middle initial you may be using to identify yourself.  Noooooooo!  Not my treasured "J"!  I hated it, but for greater peace of mind, privacy, and personal safety, I had no choice but to strip the J from all of my online presences; etsy shops, portfolio sites, even seemingly benign stuff like Amazon or Yelp. On some sites, I even switched to a complete first and last name alias in order to be even less searchable.  I know, it sounds really nuts.  All I can do is assure you that if you had received some of the 'love letters" I have, you'd want the disappearing act to be as complete as possible too.

I'm bummed over the loss of my J.  Without it, I AM invisible.  I'm lost in a sea of women who share my first and last name, my achievements buried deep under all of their graduation photos, small business listings, office hours...porn titles. While that invisibility has served to shield me from my stalker, it also feels like a punishment to someone who lives to stand out. I feel like an officer who has had his badges and bars ripped off his uniform in a dishonorable discharge....except I didn't do anything wrong! I get to enjoy my full signature once a week, when I deposit my paycheck, and that's it.

I wonder, will I always have to live my life this way?  When colleagues want to add me on linkedin, I have to tell them my user name is an alias.  Eyebrows sometimes raise, and it's embarrassing to explain.  This name situation will no doubt effect the choices I make as I pursue my plush toy making goals.  Can I risk using my name on the tags and packaging, knowing this will add to my searchability online?  Do I use a pseudonym, as some toy artists do, even though I've never been terribly attracted to the idea? It's proving to be difficult to be out there achieving in the art/ business world while also trying to be a ghost.

You may have noticed that I haven't actually typed my full name once in this blog.  That's no accident. Unflattering fake Facebook profiles every few weeks remind me that stalky-pants is still out there, doing his thing.  When one gets shut down, it's not long before a new, even dumber one goes up.  In effort to feel less upset by the whole thing, I try to make it funny.  I imagine him in his mom's basement, wearing a red wig with bangs and a foil hat while he schemes.  It works until I realize it's probably true.

Thank you to the friends who have supported me during what is, undoubtedly, the stupidest thing I have ever experienced.  I hope that someday my J can make a return, and then we will party. My gift to myself will be a giant gold and rhinestone "J" pimp medallion, and there will be balloons for everyone!

Get Ready to Rumblllllllllllle!

All this is coming at you tomorrow.  Let the Craft Wars begin!

Wear it With Pride!

When I'm not feeling fuzzy, I make merit badges.  Ok, so they're really just buttons, but made in the majestic spirit of those merit badges earned in boy scouts; proudly displayed on a sash of achievement to tell the world you've mastered making the perfect s'more or the art of playing dead in front of a charging pedo bear!

My badges are for adult life, relationships in specific, and are thus entitled "Boyfriend Badges: Proof You Don't Suck!"  Wanna hear my slick sales pitch?  Yeah, you do.
"Boyfriend Badges aren't just for boyfriends.  They're also for girlfriends, husbands, wives, friends and fuckbuddies...pretty much whoever shares your special moments and compromising situations.  reward your significant someone with a badge of honor each time you reach a relationship milestone, or use them as incentives if your sweetie is an achievement whore who MUST COLLECT THEM ALL!"

So, what are these achievements I speak of?  Let's have a look at Series 1:

Drunk MakeOuts, You've Accepted My Fetish, Breaking the Fart barrier, My Pet Likes You, Meet the Parents, Moral Support While Puking.

If you've conquered these six situations and can still look the person in the eye, they're a keeper!

Now, on to the ladies.  Girlfriend Badges are actually a little more difficult to attain, and one in particular requires some ballsiness to brandish in public (obviously, that one is my favorite):

Bro Approved, Menstrual Management,  It's OK Baby (erectile dysfunction amnesty badge), Boobs!, Fast food Friendly, and Video Game Tolerance.

An old man once saw my Menstrual management badge and said "Oh!  I like your little surfer guy there!"  Yes.  Surfing.  Thanks, dude.

I'll soon be busy punching a bunch of new badges in preparation for Comikaze in Sept., so grab some now before things get nuts! Boyfriend Badges shop

Now for the audience participation portion of the show!  I've been approached by a few friends about making a series of Break Up Badges.  While I am intrigued and certainly agree that some break up incidents are worth commemorating --whether to remember a hard lesson learned or to laugh at the ridiculousness-- I have to wonder whether they'd sell.  Getting dumped via email or text is a common indecency, but is it badge worthy?  If I shoot for the more absurd end of the spectrum and go with achievements like "Hit Ex With My Car" (It never happened!  I don't care who told you!  He's a liar.), they become less universal and possibly punishable by law.

So, I come to you, my readers.  All 7 of you!  Break up Badges:  Good idea, bad idea?  Any thoughts on what they should be?  Break up anecdotes you'd care to share that walk the line between hilarious and cringeworthy?  Holla back here, through FB, or the etsy shop!

You Thought I Wouldn't Notice

Ok, have a look at the link first, then come back.  I'll wait.
http://youthoughtwewouldntnotice.com/blog3/have-a-heart-hot-topic/

The designer, BeatBlack, is a friend of a friend.  I'm really disturbed that this seems to be a growing trend with fashion companies.  Hot Topic, Urban OutShitters, and I'm sure there are more I can't think of right now. Having experienced this myself, I empathize with how pissed BeatBlack must be, and how helpless she must feel. Hot Topic: Can stealing work (and then ultimately tarnishing the company reputation when you get caught) REALLY be cheaper and easier than hiring the original artist or buying/ licensing the design?  Most artists would probably be glad to make a deal if you approached them, and would probably accept far less than they deserve because they don't know any better. However, take away our credit and the internet will bitch slap you sideways!  I wish I had known about the YTWWN site a few years ago, and think all artists making merchandise/ fashion would do well to bookmark that site.

Back in March of 2010 I was working with a small apparel company on a line of monster hoodies.  Thankfully, I had the forethought to make them significantly different from my Wumpling designs so the lines would remain separate (you'll see why in a bit).  Since my client didn't have the resources to send the hoodies into production herself, she felt our best bet was to make a deal with a larger company, who would then also serve as the distributer.  She arranged a meeting with none other than Hot Topic.

Now, when I was shopping at Hot Topic in the mid-late 90's, it was still kinda awesome.  It was the type of place your parents would be scared to go in, and they'd automatically hate anything you bought there.   Perhaps this was all part of their marketing strategy; using rebellion to entice youngsters away from the pleated front comfort of the Gap and Old Navy.
There were also very few store locations, making it something of a treat.  We had to drive at least an hour to find the nearest Hot Topic. It was a beacon of all things dark and spikey in the middle of the Iowa cornfields; a consumer haven for the weirdos, metal heads, psuedo goths, confused teenage wiccans, and tiny punk rockers who lived in the middle of nowhere and had no other source for counter culture goods.

These days, you can barely leave the house without stumbling into a Hot Topic.  In fact, I think a new one just sprang up in my bathroom as I was writing this.  I better go move all my hair extensions before the cashier tries to lodge them into her white girl dreads.
I'm completely unclear as to whether the brand still considers itself counter culture, or "all about the music".  They do sell neon colored Nicki Minaj t-shirts, but I feel like that doesn't count.  Any time I dare venture in, some 12yr old snot wearing skinny jeans is ordering his mom to buy him stuff while she wades apprehensively through the spray on hair color and Teen Disney corsets.  I don't know if that last one exists, but I think it's a mere board room meeting away from reality.
Licensing the shit out of anything that was on tv in the 80's and selling it to kids too young to know the reference has certainly succeeded in making HT a huge corporation, exponentially giving less and less of a shit about what their image and audience are.

STOP IT!  You were a zygote when this was on.  You don't know shit about Scrooge McDuck!

Now, back to spring 2010.  My client pitched the designs to the buyers at HT, who expressed a very professionally restrained interest.  "We like it, but let's wait until the back to school season."  Months went by, and the line was pushed back to a christmas release. When Christmas came and went, and our phone calls went unreturned, my client tried to console me by saying that sometimes companies just flake and that even good ideas get tossed by the wayside.  She also expressed a complete apathy for the situation, having been through it several times before, and said I could do whatever I wanted with the work but would be doing so on my own.  I was bummed that the HT project was dead.  However, at least I had the comfort of knowing a dead project where no money had changed hands meant my work was still my own, seeing as I did copyright all the original sketches and had the design files. Right?  Right.

Early file with two color options.

Little did I know that the project was not, in fact, dead at all, and that I would be meeting the zombie mass produced version of my creation very soon.
December 2010, killing time at the mall over x-mas break.  I saw this on the Hot Topic racks and just about killed everyone in the food court when my mind exploded.

Look familiar??

I'm always a little ashamed to admit that I had to buy this to get it.  I mentioned to the girl behind the counter that I was the designer and she seemed to believe me, but was unable to offer any kind of employee discount in the situation of freelance/ theft.  I spent the next hour composing a professional yet firm letter to their CEO (google has everyone's email address, if you have a little time and a lot of crazy), basically asking "How the FUCK did this happen?"

Their initial response seemed favorable; concise and concerned. Since then, I have found that "This news is very disturbing to us and we will look in the matter as quickly as possible" is more of a stock response, translation: "Oh shit.  She found us."

Within a day, I received an email from the designer formally credited with my work.  She was also working for a third party, who Hot Topic contracts.  To be clear, she may very well have had no idea the design was stolen.  She may have been given a few visuals or maybe even a description and simply told to make it happen.  It just so happens that what happened ended up looking an awful lot like the drawings of mine that Hot Topic had seen previously.  The designer sent me a massive train of design files to support the "natural and coincidental" evolution of her hoodie, though none of them were dated.  Her case was that we had arrived at similar things around the same time, entirely independently. We probably could have gone back and forth for a long time about who added what element first, but since she had the support of a company behind her, it didn't seem worth the trouble.  Their lawyers would eat my lawyer alive, then use his skin to make screen printed teen apparel.

Once in a while I see a Hot Topic product with a little too much coincidental Ashley monster flavor and it gets my brain churning.  Is it derivative? Maybe there's just that much monster stuff out there right now.  The sad thing is I'll probably never know, or get paid if I ever find out. While none of these sightings have been similar enough to pursue legally, I take them as reminders to remain vigilant, maintain control of my own designs at all times (no more third party runaround), and declare my copyrights loudly and proudly, for all the web to see.  In the interest of that last one, here's the only hoodie design of the original 3 that HT hasn't sourced from yet.

  Breath in that fresh creativity, HT, and while you're at it, note the date stamp on the image.

Congratulations! It's an Artist!

The public is now half way through the season of Craft Wars, and I find the internet apron deep in reviews and recaps of the episodes.  For what purpose, I don't know.  If you watched, a recap is useless.  If you didn't watch, a recap can really only deliver a mild satisfaction from knowing the outcome, tinted with some author's familiar air of forced cleverness, but without the sense of urgency and disaster that makes even the worst reality show a little irresistibly crack-like.  A friend of mine likes The Bachelor, and I'd like to check her in to a 12 step program.

Today while reading a recap written by a fellow Craft Wars veteran, I did stumble upon an interesting factoid:  There have only been 2 male contestants so far.  Hm.  I can only guess that male applicants were scared off by the use of the term "crafting", as it does sort of imply the stuff your grandma used to make with cornhusks and old lace.

Several years ago, I did an interview with an all female owned and operated production company.  Their line of questioning practically begged you to respond in a way that would appeal to their young female audience; teenagers who needed to hinge their identities on "girl power" because it was an alternative concept, yet already pioneered by others and thus not scary.  One question in particular made me realize something.

"So, Ashley, you're a successful woman working in a male dominated industry. Do you consider yourself a feminist?"

Obviously, they were looking for a 'yes'.  They were hoping for war stories about how hard I had to fight to get where I am because I'm a girl; how I wasn't taken seriously or, better, yet, had encountered sexual harassment and persevered!  I'd also be able to provide anecdotes about the elder, wise, women who had helped me along the way, giving doe-eyed young women hope that role models DO exist.

Nope.  None of that.  I am not a feminist.

Seeing the modifer "female" used in relation to a profession bugs me.  I'm not an accomplished "female" artist, I'm an accomplished artist.  We're all playing on the same field, and I'll take on all you muthafuckas!  I don't need to be categorized, nor do I need someone to give me an extra special award because I did all this stuff AND was a girl at the same time.  I know it sounds like an awful lot to handle with all the lipstick re-applications and the tampon changing and whatnot, but I assure you it's manageable if you're good at what you do.

To be honest, until they asked me that question I had never really thought of my work in terms of gender at all.  Anything I truly want to have, I pursue wholeheartedly and more often then not the hard works pays off.  I'm not thinking about whether my chromosomes will help or hurt my chances.  When it comes to work and art, I don't think of myself as a "woman"...or a man.  I am Ashley Long.  Love it, or get the hell out of my way.

As the Craft Wars season moves forward, I hope to see more male contenders in the mix.  While my whole genderless artist rant prevents me from being counted as Craft Wars dude #3, I'd like to think I'm a bit more akin to the guys when it comes to my method.  We don't look at blog tutorials, we don't have parties.  We just are. We work alone in our shops, dig in, and figure shit out guerilla style. Building, designing, stitching, glueing, installing, evil genius-ing, ...making bacon guns and posing like the Terminator when we're bored.

Hmm.  Maybe I should look into some genetic testing....

The Id and the Ego

Unemployment is a very introspective time.  One has all hours of the day to ponder the big questions; What am I doing with my career?  What would I do if I could afford to do whatever I wanted?  How long has it been since I washed these pajama pants?
I've been working in tv animation for almost 7 years.  Well, until very recently, when I became a vicitm of *DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!*-- budget cuts!  That's sort of the end of that story.  I just wanted to clarify that I'm unemployed entirely against my will, and not because I'm a worthless bum.  I often feel I should explain it to my mail carrier.  Every time I hear him open my mailbox and drop off my unemployment check, I feel certain he's shaking his head at the deadbeat in #101.  I want to drag him inside and show him my "Sent" email folder, my jumbled files of what studios I called and when; proof that I have been pimping my portfolio all over town and doing everything in my power to become a functioning member of society again!

While I wait for animation to pick up again, I've been considering my three dimensional work as a source of employment.  I'd like to start freelancing in the costuming or prop design industries because  I've found that I really enjoy building things.  Entirely self taught through experimentation with materials, I've found that my art objects provide for me the sense of artistic satisfaction that I think many animators are chasing with their drawing, but will never find in their day job.  Even if it's for a show you like, animation is essentially a manufactured product.  To be happy in a studio, you must understand this.  People who say things like "what I really care about is STORY" need to wake the fuck up and realize you're not going to find it here.

I was always very happy to work on someone else's product by day, because I knew I had limitless fantastical creatures to make by night (and weekend).  I particularly enjoy my masks because you can look at them empty and still feel who the character is.  Constructing them is very relaxing because there are no rules.  I can build as big as I want, as gaudy as I want.  There's nobody who knows these characters better than me, and thus nobody who can critique my aesthetic choices.  I can abandon all standards, opinions, and other nitpickery one might expereince during their day job as an artist.  You know what I say to perspective?  BAM!  I just glued a sequin on that shit!  There's your vanishing point, bitchez!
Building, for me, is a release of the Id.

  Plus, how often do you get to deal with fur bikinis in storyboarding.  Well, actually, maybe a handful of times.  I will truly miss drawing Roger from American Dad...
For a complete portfolio of my masquerade fanciness, visit my newest web presence:
http://www.bleidu.com/ashleyjlong